Hi, I’m Coach A-Man, and today I would be breaking down this newsletter called ‘Why do Women Pull Away When things Seem Good.

Quick Summary

The summary of this newsletter would is to understand why women pulls away when things seems good, why they break things off, why you should always focus on yourself more than you focus on chasing and validating yourself to her, and  how attraction is not a choice. You got to understand that women will do what they want to do. The more you force it, the more she’ll go away. Women are like cats. You can’t expect for a cat to behave when you grab them and force them to be held by you. They’ll just bite and scratch you more and they’ll leave. In that sense women are that way. The only thing you can do is be nice and let her go. If she’s attracted to you then she’ll come back. No need to force it, because she’s either attracted to you or not. How will you know? She will be messaging you all the time. She will be asking how you are, she misses you, she wants to see you again or any messages like that. You can’t force them to stay. The reason she walked away is because she is not attracted to you. The only way to get her back is to increase her attraction and to walk away in this scenario.

Part 1: The Core Problem

We will always assume that the woman you are dating is a healthy and happy individual that grew up with a happy family. If a woman is a healthy and happy individual, the reason why she pulls away from you is because she feels smothered by you. You have been chasing too much, forcing things, and maybe talking too much and you are losing her attraction. So, she pulls away from you. Most men don’t read between the lines and the subtle messages that women give you and they just assume that since you are together that the relationship will be happy forever and after. News flash, that’s not the reality we live in. Unfortunately, in reality that’s not the case. It will be a constant process to keep  her attraction. So the main reason would be because she is being smothered by you. She feels that you are locking her too much, not giving her much freedom, not letting her talk when she wants to, and you’re not letting her come to you whenever she feels like it. I will repeat. The main reason why women pull away when things seem good (from relationships, to dating, to conversations, etc.) is because she feels smothered and she doesn’t feel free in that situation. You  have been chasing her away, talking too much, not letting her say what she wants to say, saying whatever she wants to say, being too controlling, and everything along those lines.

Your Solution

Women won’t pull away with someone they are in love with. Women want to chase their man, not their man chase them away. Why? Because a man is focused on his mission and objective in life. He is working out, making money, improving himself, etc. He is focused on working himself and his woman is free to feel whatever she wants to feel, say what she wants to say. And with that, she will absolutely chase after you because its attractive to her. When he is focused with himself, in improving himself becoming a better man, this makes her feels safe. But, she’ll want try and test you to see how strong you are by leaving and see if you’ll chase her. So if you chase her, she’ll walk away more because you’re not strong and don’t respect yourself. This is the reality of the dating world. So whether you like it or not, you have to let her go and let her come to you, and understand that the reason she is pulling away is because of you and your unattractive actions. If you give her the freedom to come and go from you, then she will be in love with you and not pull away from you. So let her go. If she is attracted to you she will come back.  Risky I know if this is your first time letting her go and not chase her away, but from my experience this is the way to get her back.

Part 2: What Should You Do and How Should You Think?

I will break it down for you so you can understand how and why this happens, the logic behind it, the principles from her perspective, and give you a solution on what you should do, what your mindset should be, and what specific steps you should be taking if you want her back or . You have to understand her first and know what makes you attractive to her. I will give you examples so you understand the points.

How It All Works

Controlling Your Emotions and Mastering Yourself

‘Why do I have to control my emotions when I am with her? How do I show my feelings to her?’. This is one of the main reasons why you she is pulling away from you. The more emotional, talk about your feelings, tell her how afraid you are that you she might leave you. Why? Simply because you are attracting a girl. A woman wants to be in her feminine energy. She wants that feeling not the other way around. Since opposites attract, the more feminine she is, the more masculine you have to be. That’s reality.You can try ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequence. If what you’re doing lead you to my work, then clearly you’re doing something wrong. ‘So coach, what hat do I do?’.. If she’s pulling away, you let her go. Let it go, don’t let it and who that it bothers you, work on yourself, or do something like work. Remember to say less than necessary, let her do the talking, let her be the one to come to you, let her show you that she misses you. I know it’s going to be hard but you have to conceal and hide what you feel, and let her do it all for you.

Valuing Yourself and Removing Desperation

Understand that you can’t force your wishes on her. You can only gently guide it. The more you force it, the more she runs away. If she is pulling away, then do nothing and let it go. The more you chase, the more you lose your value in her eyes, you’ll look desperate, and all of these are unattractive in her eyes.

Action and Perception.

Remember that your strategy here is to get her to chase you. It is scientifically proven that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. You still show her that you like her and appreciate her. But what you will not do is be rude and shove it in her that she is not important. Be smooth. If she pulls away, you let her go.You will not message her because  she pulled away. Obviously the reason this happened is because you messed up. But don’t give up and completely become mellow and chase after her after she pulls away. She’ll perceive you as more masculine if you do it how I recommended it to you because you’ll value yourself more in her eyes. Also remember that it doesn’t matter what you feel about her. What only matters to her is what she is feeling. This is reality so you have to man up  and understand it. You can ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences..

Attraction and Repulsion

Understand that this happens to you as well. Imagine someone asking you to do something for them but you don’t want to do it. You give them signs that you don’t want to do, give them an indirect signal, maybe something along the lines of ‘Sorry, I’m busy right now I have to be here because this person needs me’, or ‘Sorry I can’t help because blah blah blah’. But instead of that person letting you go and moving on, imagine them just forcing you to do it even if you don’t want to do it. Won’t that be a horrible feeling? That’s the same principle to a woman pulling away. She doesn’t want to be in the relationship even when you think things are good because she’s not happy with the relationship…

What your Mindset should be

Maintaining An Image of Strength and Self-Reliance

You should maintain an image of a masculine man in front of her eyes. Fake it if you have to. Why? Because feminine energy is attracted to masculine energy.You have to let the woman do the chasing, asking you what you feel about her, messaging you day in and out. Show her that she is a compliment to your happy life, not the whole life. Don’t be rude. I’m not saying that you become rude and tell her that she is not important. All I’m saying is that show her that you want to be with her, want her company, but if she is pulling away, then you’ll be fine but you won’t force her to change your mind. Show her that you are strong, can live without her, you want to be with her but if she is pulling away then you’re more than happy to let her go and not force her. Show her that you are masculine and self-reliant. There is nothing toxic about being a masculine and walking away if she is pulling away because she doesn’t want your attention and love. Be smooth, don’t be rude.

Understanding Human Nature Without Illusion

Understand human nature and illusion. People pull away when they are uncomfortable. Just like her she is pulling away because she is uncomfortable. Don’t take it personally. Women are emotional and this is just an emotion so don’t take it personally. Just take it and brush it off. Give an illusion that it doesn’t bother you. It will hurt, but put a face on and a vibe that shows her that it doesn’t bother you one bit. Maybe she has been trying to tell you for a while now until she pulled away how you have been making her uncomfortable or unwanted but you haven’t been listening and she is now pulling away so you can hear her better. Maye that is the case. But it shouldn’t matter if it’s all an illusion. Don’t let it bother you. Stand up, be a man, and move on if.

Part 3: Steps to Get Her Back

The “No Contact Rule”

The best way to get her back is ‘No Contact Rule’. For a more detailed explanation on my input on the ‘No Contact Rule’, simply go to your web browser, type in ‘workanddating.com’ and search for the article called ‘The No Contact rule: Your First Step to Get Her Back and Healing’. The core idea would be to let her go and not look back, and the golden rule ‘If She Broke It, She Fixes It’. Go to my other article for a more detailed breakdown.

Attraction Is Not A choice.

Attraction is not a choice. You can’t force her something that she doesn’t want, how I can’t force you to do something that you don’t want. All you can do is increase your odds but it’s up to her to step if she wants you. No need to force her to do anything. You will only push her away. Her feelings might be changing because of emotional shifts, things in the background with her, her family or something important, need for space to think, unmet emotional needs, testing you, or anything in between.  It’s not a choice for you or her. The universe does the work so you can’t do much besides focus on yourself and just let it bounce off of you.

“Women Are the Choosers. Men Being The Pursued”

In relationships, especially romantic ones, women are the chooser and men are being pursued. That is the reality of a healthy relationship. And it has to be that way. A man wouldn’t be happy if he does not focus on himself improving and achieving goals. You won’t be in a good  place if you are not forcing yourself to have goals and achieve them. You shouldn’t be chasing women anyway. Then that would mean that you’re focusing on them, not you. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care about them, but when push comes to shove, you have to know and she has to know that if you have been given an option to only choose one, her and being with her or yourself and your work, even though it’s hard you have to choose yourself. Only thing you can do is increase her attraction for you, maintain, and leave it to that. You don’t beg. You just take it and move on.

The Importance of Self-Improvement and Dating Other Women.

This is where the importance of self-improvement comes from and dating other women. When you are working on yourself, then its because you love yourself and you want to get better. You want to learn more about things for you, practice new skills for you, not be hurt by painful things, and to become self-reliant. This allows you to not need and beg for anyone because you understand that all you have in this world is you so you won’t put yourself in situations where you are less valued and things that give you pain and misery. You just move on. You are not rude, revengeful, or hateful. You just understand that things are the way it is, she is what she is, and will do what she does. You understand that the best way is to shrug it and move. Part of the reason to prove yourself and partly her that you value yourself and you value someone that cares for you is by dating other women when she pulls away, walks away, or breaks things off. This proves to yourself that you value someone who loves you and cares for you so you find and date that someone, and this makes the girl who walked away from you perceive you as wanted by other women and will make her re-evaluate her decision of walking away. Women are very competitive when it comes to relationships. All women want the man that all the other girls want, and they all love the man who is very masculine.

The Strategy of Letting Her Do the Effort

The strategy of setting dates and letting the woman do the pursuing and the effort is part of the golden rule which is ‘She Broke it, She Fixes It’. After you walk away and do the ‘No Contact Rule’, she will be coming back to you and start messaging you and give you signs that she wants to come back again. That is why you are nice and not rude when you say your goodbye and let her go.. Don’t make it too hard for her. Just remember the concept that she has to earn your attention and love again. So be less enthusiastic with her messages until she asks for a date. Then when the date is finalized, and you guys are there on the date together in person, then you can have fun with her again. Until then, she has to do all the pursuing, chasing, and locking you down.