Hi, I’m Coach A-Man, and today I would be breaking down this newsletter called “Is it Worth Approaching Girls In Real Life These Days?”
Quick Summary
I’ve got a reader who’s asking a fundamental question that reveals the modern man’s dilemma: Is it still worth it to approach girls in real life these days? Since the world is becoming more “woke”, becoming more feminine, and becoming ruled and dominated by weak men, most men are now being programmed to become weak and they now say that becoming and exploring the masculine side of you is now evil. I say wrong. Very feminine women will always crave a man who is very masculine. That’s how it goes. That’s how it worked in the old days, that’s how it will work now, and that’s how it will work in the future. It’s in human nature. The more polarity there is, the more attraction there will become. That’s the basics. Feminine women attract masculine men, and vice versa. If men are being told to become more feminine, what it’s only doing is ruining the natural relationship dynamics and it’s producing a sexless and a generation with little to no emotional connection.
So let’s go through his message.
Is It Worth Approaching Girls In Real Life These Days?
Hey everyone,
I’m 20 and sometimes I feel like I should approach a girl in real life when I see someone attractive — like at a café or on the street.
But honestly, it feels scary and awkward. I’m not sure if people still do that or if it’s just weird now.
Do you think it’s worth trying to meet someone in person like that, or is online dating the only real option these days?
Where do people even meet these days? Any advice is appreciated.
Alright, all you young men and those of you that have little dating experiences, listen up. This isn’t just about approaching girls. The idea is not to “approach” women just to approach women. The goal is about developing your courage, confidence, and the balls to go for what you want in life. The idea is to go reach for your goal even though it is hard and awkward. As long as you are not rude and not hurting anyone in the process, then I recommend for you to approach as many women as you can so that you get the confidence and the knowledge that you can only get by doing it. Communicating with women is like riding a bicycle. I can only teach you so much about the basics and the fundamentals, but you still have to go out there and see what works with you. Different strokes for different folks. Getting women is a skill. If you don’t work on them and if you don’t take the time to learn how to communicate with them effectively, what will happen is you’re going to come across with a woman that ticks all your boxes and she’s interested with you but you’ll blow your opportunity to get her because you didn’t take the time to learn beforehand and you don’t know what to do and what not to do. It’s a balance, and like I said you can only learn it truly by doing it. And guess what? Women, real women, are attracted to that kind of man. Men who are decisive, reach for their goals with confidence, and approach women with confidence are very attractive to women.
The Truth About “Scary and Awkward”
Let’s dissect this fear you’re feeling:
But honestly, it feels scary and awkward.
My dude, of course it feels scary! That’s your monkey mind, your reptilian brain, trying to keep you safe from perceived danger. What is the danger? Rejection is the danger. The danger of feeling a little uncomfortable. But here’s the kicker. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s doing what needs to be done in spite of the fear. When you see all these men who approach women and are good with women have either learned this by growing up because their father is one or they did the work to become one. Either way, they would all be lying if they say that approaching women doesn’t make them nervous. They just handle the emotions better because they have built that emotional calluses from the continuous repetition.
The “awkwardness” isn’t because in-person approaches are inherently awkward. It’s only because you haven’t practiced enough. You haven’t done many approaches yet and it still feels foreign to you. Everything new feels awkward at first. Driving a car, playing a sport, talking to attractive women, and even your first sex experience. No one becomes an expert overnight. The high value man understands that you must continually push the boundaries of your comfort zone to grow. If it feels scary, you’re on the right track. That’s where growth happens. If it’s scary, then that’s why you do it. It builds you up as a man, it builds your inner and emotional strength and it makes you become better.
The Art of Dating
If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve felt that frustration. That confusion when it comes to women. Maybe you struggle with confidence, or you just don’t know where to start when it comes to dating. I get it. I’ve been there, done that, and I know countless other guys who have too.
That’s exactly why I’ve poured everything I’ve learned into my new short eBook, “The Art of Dating.”. This isn’t just theory. It’s a step-by-step blueprint designed to cut through all the knowledge and give you the real, actionable strategies you need.
In about a month, I’m releasing it completely free because I believe every man deserves to find the connection he craves. Whether that’s casual dating, building a harem of women, or finding that woman you want to be with forever.
Ready to stop feeling lost and start seeing real results? All you have to do is join my early access list. Just head over to WorkandDating.com, scroll to the very bottom of any page, and drop your email into the input box. You’ll be the first to know the moment “The Art of Dating” drops, and you’ll get instant access to our daily newsletter with even more exclusive insights.
Don’t miss out on changing your dating life for good. Take the first step now
Why Real-Life Approaches Are Timeless
I’m not sure if people still do that or if it’s just weird now.
This is where society has really messed with your head. Let me be crystal clear and keep my answer short. No! It is not and never will be weird to confidently approach an attractive woman in real life. People have done this for thousands of years, it’s tradition and natural for us men to do this. That’s how dating and how relationships are formed. What’s weird is men who stalk social media, send creepy DMs, or can’t hold a conversation outside of an app. There’s nothing weird about approaching women. Don’t listen to the woke up propaganda when they tell you to get the women to become more “feminine” and become more of a “woman” to show their feelings instead of being direct, and don’t be giving subtle signs. That’s what women do. A man approaches the woman he’s interested in with confidence and by being direct. What will be weird is if you’ve become rude, forceful, and pushy when you get rejected. That would be the big no no. The idea is just be direct, put yourself out there to approach the women, and just work with whatever you get back in return. If you get rejected, then that’s fine. It’s not personal, remember. Just move on.
Women, especially high-quality women, are bombarded by low-effort, low-confidence messages online. Just like there are only a few high-quality women around, there are also a few high-quality men. Women are starved for a man who has the courage to walk up to them, make eye contact, smile, and say hello and do their approach. What it does is it shows that you’re a man who knows what he wants, isn’t afraid to go for it, and isn’t looking for validation behind a screen. That’s what you demonstrate to her when you approach her with confidence and when you are direct. It’s a demonstration of confidence, and confidence is the single most attractive quality a man can possess. Read my newsletter called “What Are The Biggest Mistakes Men Make That Push Women Away?” for a more detailed breakdown. What attracts women is the other side of the newsletter but it will be helpful for you to have a read as well.
Online Dating vs. Real Life
Do you think it’s worth trying to meet someone in person like that, or is online dating the only real option these days?
Let me say this clearly for you. Online dating is a tool. It is a tool that you can use to approach women but it is not the only option and tool that you can use. Approaching women in person and talking to them in person is what you should do to develop yourself into the man you want to be. If your goal is to just do dating apps and just keep it in the messages then you can do that. But is that what you really want? Do you want to just have a texting buddy forever or a woman in person that you can talk to and have genuine in-person connection with? Dating apps are not the best way to develop your confidence and to become the desirable man for women. Approaching in person will always be the best way.
Online dating is like fishing in a polluted pond. Everyone looks the same and everyone does the same thing. You’re judged on a few pictures and a bio. Real-life interactions, however, allow you to showcase who you truly are. It shows how you are in the real world and it shows your:
- Vibe: Your energy, your smile, your presence.
- Confidence: Your body language, your eye contact, your directness.
- Communication Skills: Your ability to make conversation, be witty, listen, and go back and forth
- Presence: The undeniable feeling of being a man who is comfortable in his own skin and the aura that you give off.
These are things you simply cannot convey and show through an app. In the digital world, especially in the dating space, it feels bland and dry. There’s no excitement really on meeting there, there’s no mystery, and there’s none of that human interaction and feeling. It feels too technical when you meet through your phone. Like I said, it’s a tool to get women, but it’s not the only way to get women. Understand that women respond to how you make them feel, through your words and actions. You can’t make a woman “feel” your confidence and your presence through a text message.
Online dating is convenient, yes. But that convenience rarely leads to greatness. You don’t really learn much compared to naturally approaching in person. Relying solely on it makes you lazy, passive, and puts you in a position of begging for attention, rather than confidently attracting it. To answer your question, if it’s not a thing anymore to approach women in person, I would say that yes it’s still a thing and if done right, it will give you an everlasting and very memorable first impression. I’m creating an eBook called “The Art of Dating” and I will show you a detailed step-by-step instructions on how to get women for guys like you, and how I was, that have no experience and it will give you clear instructions on what to do and what not to do to attract her and maintain her for a long-term relationship. All you have to do is subscribe to the email newsletter that is located on the bottom section of any site page of WorkandDating.com, put your email on the input box, and you will be notified when I will release “The Art of Dating”.
Where to Meet Women These Days
Where do people even meet these days?
My man, people meet everywhere. The exact same places they always have, plus a few new ones. The locations aren’t the problem; the lack of balls to approach is.
- Cafes & Coffee Shops: She’s sitting alone, enjoying a coffee. “Hey, I noticed you from over there and thought you looked interesting and I just want to say that I fancy and find you beautiful. What are you reading/working on?”
- Grocery Stores: She’s looking at avocados. “Excuse me, those look perfect. Any tips on picking a good one?”
- On the Street: You’re walking, she’s walking. Make eye contact, smile, “Hey, just wanted to say you have a great smile. Have a good day!” (And if she responds positively, you continue the conversation.)
- Bookstores, Gyms, Parks, Bars, Social Events, Festivals, Classes, Meetup Groups.
The real question isn’t “where to meet them”, it should be “when are you going to stop making excuses and start taking action?”.
Your Action Plan: Becoming The Man She Wants
My advice to you is
- Read My Book, “The Art of Dating”. It’s all in there. This isn’t just about dating; it’s about life. You need to understand attraction, human nature, and how to become the kind of man women naturally gravitate towards. I will be releasing the eBook for free very soon, all you have to do is subscribe to the email newsletter to be the first to be notified on when I release it.
- Start Small, But Start Now. Your goal isn’t to get a date every time. Your goal is to build the habit of approaching first. Make your eye contact, smile, and say “hello” to 3-5 attractive women a day. The more approaches the better. Don’t even try to get their number at first. Just practice the interaction.
- Be Direct & Confident. Don’t beat around the bush and just go for it. If you’re scared, then just do it. Do the numbers. If you think she’s attractive, go up to her, be a man, and tell her. “I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi.” Simple. Direct. Confident. The worst thing is you are only going to be rejected, you’re not going to die. You have to go through the rejections and the no’s to become who you are meant to be. Do the numbers
- Expect Rejection. It’s a numbers game. Not every woman will be interested, not every woman is single, and not every woman is emotionally available. Rejection is simply feedback. Learn from it, adjust, and move on. It doesn’t mean you are inadequate, it just means that the situation and the opportunity is not aligned with you. Don’t take it personal, move on, and get back on the game. You have to go through the rejection and the no’s to get what you want.
Focus on Your Inner Game. The more confident you are in who you are and what you bring to the table, the less you’ll fear rejection. Develop your purpose, your passions, and your mission. Women are attracted to men who are on a mission. Remember that the google is to practice and build your confidence and work your way up. If there is attraction and she is showing that she is interested in you, then escalate as so. Remember, it’s all in the numbers.
The Bottom Line: Action Over Hesitation
Stop overthinking it. Stop letting fear run your life. Do it scared, do it with fear, but just do it. The men who achieve greatness in any area of life, from career, fitness, or dating, are the ones who consistently take the steps and the actions when others are hesitating. The more practice you do, the better you become. Again, it’s all in the numbers. So go out there, be a man, and give the gift of your presence. The results will surprise you. Always remember, success leaves clues.
