A young man sits on a park bench using a laptop, looking thoughtfully into the distance amidst sunlit trees. — Finding a moment of productivity and contemplation outdoors.

Hi, I’m Coach A-Man, and today I would be breaking down this newsletter called ‘How to Meet New Friends After a Breakup’. In this newsletter, I will break down a message that I have received from a viewer that most of you would know the feeling of and would have experienced.

Quick Summary

Breakups are normal. It’s essential for growth as a person. It’s normal to feel lost, isolated, and lose your self-confidence as a man after losing a relationship. It’s part of life. It makes you look at yourself, forces you to learn something new in hopes that you learn from it, change for the better, and become a new person. What is not natural is to go against reality. To force yourself where you’re not wanted and appreciated. This will only make things worse for you. It sounds easy when you’re facing it but deep down you know that it’s not good for you. In a breakup, you are always forced to choose between two choices. One would be to look at yourself, see what you did wrong, and change for the better. It’s not gonna be easy as you know but change and pain is essential for growth. Or choose the unhealthy option which is to fill your mind with delusions and force yourself where you are not wanted, to feed your ego, and mask the problem with addictions and whatever gives you artificial pleasure. Remember that not doing anything about changing is a choice that you are choosing as well.

So let’s go through his email:

“How to Meet New Friends After a Breakup?
After the breakup with my Ex, I just noticed I haven’t got a lot of friends to do stuff with. (Just one I sometimes play games with the other friends i had were “our” friends. So mostly hers that i got along with really well)
Issue with this is that I got nothing to really distract me and I keep thinking about the relationship a lot which I don’t want to keep doing.
How do I go about finding new friends? I’m 23 years old and I don’t know how to find friends at this age.
About the breakup, we had it coming a long time ago. We just weren’t fit for each other, we were way too different only really noticed it after a couple of years.”

She Left the Relationship

From this email, I can tell that the girl left the relationship. She initiated the breakup by slowly hinting at it. When he mentioned that ‘we had it coming a long time ago’ and ‘we weren’t fit for each other’, and ‘we were way too different’. This is what women usually say with their ‘secret language’. They slowly hint that they are unhappy with the relationship. But since they are women, its completely normal for them to do this, they give you indirect messages that they expect you to understand. She has been hinting for a breakup because she is not getting what she wants in the relationship ‘a long time ago’, and only recently she had the guts to call it off and she managed to convince you to agree as well so it takes guilt off of her when she left. I can guarantee that she initiated the break up and it was not his idea. This is a whole new topic and it needs its own break down, attention, and details so we’ll let this go for now. We’ll do this another time. Today we’ll just break down his question of how to meet new friends and things to do after a break so you can heal, become better, and move on.

Feeling ‘Lost’ After a Breakup Is Normal

The main problem that I can tell from him is that he feels ‘lost’ after a breakup. It’s completely normal for men to experience this after a relationship ends. Obviously, the longer the relationship is, the more ‘lost’ you’ll feel because feelings are involved, habits are interconnected. And the longer you spend time together, the more you’ll be comfortable with her presence. Then the break up happens, and it feels like you threw away all that time, effort, and a piece of you. You’ll also feel like your self-worth is damaged. Your sense of worth in your friendship circle is damaged too, now you have social anxiety about approaching women, you feel that you lack more confidence, and more uncertainty on ‘how and where’ you can meet new people. These are all normal. Understand that you have to feel the emotions first. Cry it out if you have to, punch things if you have to, but don’t put it out on people. Do something productive and channel that pain to improving yourself. This is why I always recommend men go to a gym. Going to the gym and having a disciplined life will prevent depression and pain from catching up to you. Boxing gyms, or Recreational gyms, either one is fine so you can channel your anger and frustrations to a ‘thing’ and not someone. Aiming to build your social life and yourself is the mindset that you should have. You already have it, which is a great thing. So you need to process the breakup, and feel your emotions out.. And as soon as you build confidence, I recommend you try and go back to the dating world and look for prospects again. Why? Because it’s challenging yourself and you’re trying and exploring more things rather than being stagnant and bored in life. The only thing to recover from an ex-girlfriend is a much younger and hotter girlfriend.

The Right Mindset

You already have the right mindset and questions after a breakup. Understand that she left for a reason, it’s nothing personal because she’s lost attraction. You can’t do anything about her to stay but increase your value as a man and move on. Hard I know but this is reality. We can’t fight against reality.. The best thing you can do from here is to work on yourself. Find new friends, new hobbies, things to do, to take your mind off of her and the relationship. And heal yourself, process your emotions as soon as you can. Cry it out, fake it out, or punch it out. Let it all out. And when they are all out and you are healed, then I suggest that you go back out there and work on your money, business or whatever you have going on, and go back to the dating world. You will find a new girl again. A new girl that will have more interest in you, much sweeter, much more fun, much more communicative. But understand that you have to know what you did wrong in your previous relationship, work on yourself, and become better. Because if you’re not aware of what you did wrong and understand why your ex girlfriend left you, then a similar situation will happen in the future and you’ll be doing the exact same thing.

What You Need to Do

What you need to do is to find what you want to do. If you’re confused on what to do, I always recommend going to the gym and working out. Have yourself a physical fitness goal, like gaining abs, losing weight, making more muscle. If you are skinny then bulk up and if you have a belly then try and lose it. Since you are working on yourself and have a hobby, you will be focused then you’ll start attracting new people that are doing the same things as you. Maybe you’ll start asking the people at the gym how they achieved their physique, body goals, etc., and you’ll realise that people who work out and have a goal are easy to talk to because you guys are doing the same things. People like these are more than happy to give you a helping hand. I’ll give you a list of other things that you should work on:

Confidence Issues
Identifying Your Hobbies
Shifting to Abundance Mindset

1. Confidence Issues

Since you’re still off because of your breakup, first we have to work on your confidence. Confidence in a woman is what beauty is to a man. Confidence is what attracts her. In easy words, confidence is the ability to trust yourself and your abilities. It’s the belief in your own self-value. Knowing that when push comes to shove and things go wrong, you stay calm and you handle things. You know that you can handle it irregardless of how you feel but you are calm through it like you have done it before. It means that you are secure and comfortable with who you are. This makes women put their guard down and trust him because she feels this and she knows that he will handle things.

Why does a woman like a man, who has dated and is popular with women? Because of confidence. It shows to her that he is self-assured, goes for what he wants, is playful with them, doesn’t take the rejections too seriously, and he lets them go if he doesn’t get what he wants but is not rude about it. He is smooth. He is confident. Obviously he doesn’t shove it in her face that he does have a lot of women, and obviously you always have to treat that girl that you are with more special than the others, but understand that concept. Confidence is the key with women. This is why some men can just say wild things to women, attract her more, and get away with it, and other not so confident men would try the same approach but fail miserably. Confidence is the only difference. So we have to work on your confidence first. I’ll give you simple, straight forward steps that I personally have used to practice my confidence with women that I still do now:

Steps to Practice Confidence:

Practice these steps accordingly and practice with all women. Regardless of whether you are attracted to the woman or not, do each step 100 times before you move to the next step. Remember to do each step accordingly and to not skip a step. (If you are doing step 3, make sure you do step 1, step 2, then step 3 accordingly)

Practice making eye contact and smiling at women.
Practice asking ‘Hi, How are you?’ (After Step 1)
Practice asking a question or say a genuine compliment after asking ‘Hi, How are you?’. (After Step 1, Step 2)
Practice going back and forth and hold a conversation for 5 minutes. (After Step 1, Step 2, Step 3)
Practice asking her for her contact details, Instagram, Facebook, messages, etc. (After Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Step 4)
Practice asking for a date on the spot after seeing that her attraction to you is high and all the subtle signs are there (After Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Step 4, Step 5)

These are guaranteed to get your confidence back. Try these steps out for yourself. Have fun with it. If you have no confidence, try starting with making eye contact with women and smiling at them. Remember to not be creepy or look rude. Be genuine about it. You are a confident man who just wants to have fun, and she looks your way so you look at her back and just smile and wave. That’s it. Then move on to the next. You try and practice with women you are not attracted to because this will take the discomfort off of your approach because you will not try to be perfect. Remember, don’t be rude. You’re here to have fun and smile at women and show them a good time because you are confident, happy, and content with life.

If your confidence is higher, then try the higher levels. I highly suggest doing all the steps accordingly because I want you to learn the fundamentals, but I can’t control what you do obviously. But do try these to get your confidence up. Remember that if she blows you off and is rude to you, she just have a bad day, she has a boyfriend/husband, or she’s not attracted to you. Either way, it won’t matter because you’re going to brush it off and move on to the next one. Always be nice and gentleman about your exit. No need to say something slick or rude, just assume that she has a bad day, or she’s having an issue in the background that you just don’t know about. Either way, say your goodbye, don’t be rude, and move on.

2. Identifying Your Hobbies

List out all your hobbies in a piece of paper. Make two columns and write ‘Like Hobbies’ on one, and ‘Dislike Hobbies’ on the other. Then what you do is list all the hobbies that you have done before. And list them all out in each column. Write all the hobbies that you have liked and write them on the ‘Like Hobbies’ section, and do one for ‘Dislike Hobbies’. What you’ll then have is a list of hobbies for each. What you should do next is to identify the top 1, and the top 2 for each column, and cross out everything. So re-read your list of hobbies for each column, number them 1-10 by importance, identify your top 1 and top 2 ‘Liked Hobbies’ and ‘Dislike Hobbies’ and cross out the rest. What you will then have is your top 2 liked and disliked hobbies. Just focus on these four, or less.

Only focus on doing your top 2 ‘Liked Hobbies’ and work on them. Have a little conversation and argument with yourself about why you disliked these hobbies and identify why you dislike them. What this will do for you is be able to identify what hobbies you like doing, and identify why, what, how you dislike the other. I would then recommend for you to do more of your ‘Liked Hobbies’ and learn more about that. To explore something new about it, to get out of your comfort zone with your hobby and learn something new. This will allow you to feel better, and feel like you are improving as a man. And with your dislikes, you will question yourself why, what, how you hate it. You will try to learn more about it so you can double down on why you hate it. What this will allow you to do is give you something that you are passionate about that you can work on and have fun with, and maybe even make money out off with your ‘Like Hobbies’, and give you an insight on why you hate your ‘Dislike Hobbies’ and able yourself tell and generate conversations with people why you hate it. Both of these are great conversation starters from my experience with women. Especially if you come across people with these hobbies whether its from your ‘Like’ or ‘Dislike’ column. These will both give you fun interactions that you can have play with.

3. Shifting to Abundance Mindset

Back to your mindset again. You shouldn’t be thinking that ‘I don’t have friends to hangout with’. You should be thinking that you’re just in a little rut after a breakup, and this is just a phase because she broke up with you. You should be thinking that the only reason why this is happening is because you are holding yourself back. You’re not confident because of you. So you have to work on it. I gave you some lists that you can practice to boost your confidence. You should be thinking that the only reason you don’t have friends is because you are not focused with yourself and with your hobbies.

If you are focused on yourself and working with your hobbies, you will naturally find people that do the same thing as you. If you enjoy going to the gym and lifting weights, then you’ll meet people along the gym who do the same thing. If you enjoy going on a run, then along your run you’ll come across people who do the same thing. If you enjoy reading in the public library, then you’ll come across someone who enjoys reading in the public library. You just do your hobby, keep your head up, and work on yourself. Smile and wave to people, be genuine with them, try and know them, ask them stuff that they are working on, ask them what they are working on, ask them for advice if they have something that you want to achieve and they already have achieved it, or anything between those lines.

Have fun. Open up your mind and understand that people have been to your exact situation and exactly those people have worked on themselves and have moved on with their life. I’m not saying it’s easy. I am just saying to just keep your head up, read my articles or some other articles that will help you, and read them over and over again. Practice and work on yourself over and over again. This will be able to shift your focus on other people and focus on yourself. Remember that the only person holding you back is you. People can try and help you, give you insights on things, advice, and I am certainly also trying to do so. But we can only do so much for you. It’s still up to you. But from my experience, my best advice that I can give to you is to read this newsletter again. After you read, read it again. And when you have read it again, read it again. Do it 30 times. When you have read it 30 times, and truly read it and take it in, I guarantee it’ll change your life. Not because of me, but because you did the work on yourself.